What's YOUR Story?

How Our Creative Callings Keep Following Us, and the Unlikely Story of How I Finally Met Terri Tate

Last week, I had an uplifting lunch with one of my writing mentors, who is also a very special friend, and the author of the uplifting and humorous memoir The Crooked Smile. I can’t wait to introduce you to Terri.

Terri will be joining me at the Hivery, a coworking community here in the Bay Area for a special Time to Write Session on Wednesday, August 5, from 12-1 p.m., called: “What’s Your Story?”

One of the many things I adore about Terri is that she is doing work that she absolutely loves. And she just turned 80. She calls facilitating memoir writing groups “the best job she’s ever had.”

That passion, the sparkle in her eye when she talks about her work, is why I signed up for her memoir groups in the first place. When people have that sparkle, I’ve learned to pay attention.

Sparkly eyes usually mean someone is following their callings. Flow often follows.

Following my own sparkles and intuitive nudges is something I’ve worked hard at over the years. Sometimes, it’s taken me longer than others to get the message. How long it took me and Terri to finally meet is one example.

Anne Lamott Knows Best

After I’d been taking Terri’s memoir writing classes for several years, I did a major clean out, including going through several notebooks filled with decades of notes from many different classes, retreats, and workshops I’ve taken over the years.

As I was skimming through these notebooks, I kept noticing Terri Tate’s name in those notebooks. Year after year, I had attended an annual workshop Anne Lamott teaches at The Book Passage, an independent bookstore here in the Bay Area. In each of those workshops, Anne had recommended Terri Tate’s memoir writing and storytelling groups.

Each time Anne had recommended Terri, I had written down her name meticulously, with every intention to follow Anne’s sage advice and follow up, only to forget completely, then make the same commitment the next year.

She also recommended to sit your butt in a chair and write everyday, which I also didn’t do until the stress of the pandemic led to my 28-Day Flow Challenges!

The Messy Path of Following Our Callings

I’ve found that our callings and those people whom we are meant to meet don’t give up on us, even when we get distracted along the way. Terri and I finally met each other many years after I took those copious notes at Anne Lamott’s workshops.

I had finally done it. It was 2022, and I had just published book Leap With Me: A Creative Path to Finding and Following Your True Voice. To celebrate, I decided to head out to a writing conference, led by Anne Lamott’s son Sam and his friend Jacob Nordby, author of The Creative Cure.

My newly-published book was hidden in my bag. I wasn’t sure if I would have the courage to tell anyone I had written it when I got there. Although the words had flowed as I had written my book, getting used to the visibility of being an “author” was another story.

I also hadn’t done my homework. Instead of checking the address, I had wrongly assumed that the event was being held at a community college campus near my home. After several wrong turns, I finally found the right place, sprinting from my parking spot, with only minutes to spare.

Rejection is Redirection

When I arrived in the large conference space, I was flustered. The room was filled with round tables, each of which was packed. The first speaker was approaching the stage, about to begin.

I slid into the first and only empty seat I found, between two men sitting at a table right by the door. Instead of turning to me with the comforting smile I needed in that moment, one of these men turned to me with distain saying, “Can’t you sit someone where else? We’re having a conversation here.”

His rejection stung. I jumped up to get away from them, grabbing my bag, which was filled with a boisterous group of women, all exuberantly talking at once. They welcomed me as if we were long lost friends and quickly went around in the circle, telling me all their names.

One of those names was Terri Tate.

Finding Our People

Landing at that table, including all the messy events leading up to that moment, brought me to right where I was most meant to be. (At the time, I didn’t remember that I had heard the name “Terri Tate” uttered by Anne Lamott year after year.)

Terri and I became friends first, as did all the women at that table, fellow writers with a shared sense of purpose. That sparkle in Terri’s eye, however, every time she talked about her memoir groups was the final nudge I needed. I at last signed up for her classes, just as I Anne had recommended, and my writing life changed.

At the event on August 5^th, Terri and I will share this story and many more synchronicities and chance meetings (what I call Flow Miracles), including how she met Anne Lamott in the first place!

Terri will also lead you in a writing prompt, an opportunity to start mining your own inner treasure trove of stories.

Saying Yes to Second Chances

I’m constantly learning that our creative callings don’t give up on us, even if at first, we’re too distracted or oblivious to follow the clues in our path. I’ve also learned, inspired by teachers like Terri Tate and Anne Lamott, that we are constantly receiving divine nudges leading us to teachers, helpers, and friends who are ready and waiting to support us in sharing our gifts with the world. It’s never too late.

Creative Connection is the Magical Key

The greatest gift I’ve gained from participating in Terri’s writing groups has been connection, created through the vulnerability of sharing tender experiences. After publishing my book Leap With Me, my newest book The Flow Habit: Creating Peace, Passion, Purpose, and Everyday Miracles followed. While The Flow Habit is a non-fiction book about the flow state and creativity, not a memoir, many of the stories in it are memories that emerged in Terri’s memoir writing groups.

The Power of Circles

The revealing of oneself through words in Terri’s classes has helped me to connect with myself and my own writing voice in a deeper, more authentic way. The reflections that came back from other creative friends on a similar path of self-excavation, intuitive listening, and healing has led to deep, lasting friendships.

Earlier this year, when The Flow Habit was published by Hay House/Penguin Random House, members of Terri’s writing groups traveled great distances to attend my book launch events even though we had not yet met, except by zoom. These creative sherpas were anchors in the audience, reminding me of who I really am, and why I wrote The Flow Habit in the first place.

I will always be so grateful for their and Terri’s support as I have continued to navigate becoming comfortable with not just being a writer but also an “author.”

True friends…

Heartfelt connections…

The safe space in which to uncover those stories calling to you…

The support to share them in the way that they most want to be told…

That’s the magic that Terri creates.

Join Us!

Hivery Writing Event:

I hope you will join us at this event at the Hivery in Mill Valley, CA on August 5^th from 12-1 p.m. PT. You’ll actually be writing during this session. If you’re feeling called to write a book, and it will include memoir stories, this event will get you started. Here’s the link to sign up. (Free for Hivery members!)

Terri’s Memoir-Writing Groups:

Even if you’re not in the Bay Area, Terri’s memoir writing groups are available by zoom, which means you can participate from wherever you are. Here’s the link to Terri’s website. You can also email her at territate0@gmail.com if you’re interested.

My Flow Circles and Coaching:

If you’re interested in my Flow Habit Coaching or my ongoing Flow Circles, designed to help you find and follow flow, hear your own intuitive callings and follow where they lead, you can find more information on my website www.LaurieSmith.com.

The Flow Habit book:

You can find more about my new book The Flow Habit: Creating Peace, Passion, Purpose, and Everyday Miracles here. I was so honored to have Terri’s endorsement of the book:

“Laurie Smith is a great writer with a quick mind and a warm heart. In The Flow Habit, she offers a path to the life I’ve always wanted: free from domination by the voice in my head that I call the Vile Bitch Upstairs and loving myself just as I am. She shows how making friends with all parts of ourselves allows us more time and energy for creativity, self-expression, and fun.”

— Terri Tate, RN, MS, humorist, memoir mentor, and author of A Crooked Smile

A Writing Room:

Here’s a link to A Writing Room, the creative community that had its inception at that writing conference where Terri and I finally met. A Writing Room online membership includes lots of workshops, Silent Writing sessions, and opportunities to connect with other writers, including classes by Anne Lamott.

Join Us ~ What’s Calling YOU?

I hope you’ll join Terri and me at the Hivery on Wednesday, August 5^th. If you are feeling intuitive nudges to write your story or share your creative gifts in new ways, maybe this is a sign that it’s time.